Well having lived in some very crackin cities in my life Moscow has been a shock, yet a ray of light has always loomed over my head in some hope that pretentiousness may exist in Moscow Idaho. Living in Portland most of my life for school as well as work I was exposed to a high level of pretentiousness at an early age, it became not only and anthem for reviewing my life but assessing everything around me. Now in a town full townies and lifers as I like to call them i find myself at a lack of pretentiousness. This has made my acclamation to my new environment very hard, when watching the people of this town there seems to be a lack of attitude which makes it so hard to judge. When people don't notice or care they are being judged does it even accomplish anything, there is a giant lack of people watching goin on in Moscow :.(...
I enjoy goin to bar/dive bars and upscale places to drink i have found that you see people at their very best and worst in these venues. Tonight was no different, i stumbled upon a new innovation to Moscow, a martini bar. Although i have been to many of these this is the first one that i have graced with my presence that had the heir that they had no reason to be open at all. Full of cliches and bartenders who spoke with verbiage straight out of, "A dummy's guide to martinis." Although there was an abundance of new and innovative martinis the ambiance as well as depth of conversational skill was lacking greatly. To me a Martini bartender must be highly skilled in the art of conversation to geisha status! Unfortunately i encountered a bartender who had quite possibly never talked to another human before or at least one that new anything about any event ever in the world. He spewed off a few cliche bartender comments about the bar which was quickly cut short by me since they were completely wrong much to my dismay i had found another pretend snob or NOB as I call them. My recent encounters in the town of Moscow have encouraged me to create my new resolution list:
1. Pass down my abilities of judging and people watching onto the next generation.
2. Communicate my disappointment in the human species more often when applicable.
3. Achieve a new level of pretentiousness in business as well as life.
4. Care to much about the little things.
5. Take things too serious as well as take things lightly that shouldn't be.
6. Find ways to laugh at thing that shouldn't be funny.
7. Most importantly turn Moscow into another city!!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday, December 19, 2008
With all the snow thats on the ground now we've been getting a different sort of guest in the store. Today was no different, the day had been goin by quite slow it seemed it would be another day full of folding jeans and peddling hundred dollar t-shirts and other things people absolutely can't live without. Then my day and quite possibly my world changed, in walked three of the most interesting specimen of the male race I have ever seen. From the innocent by-stander they most likely seemed like the normal crew of fellas, adorned with large puffy jackets stunna shades (it was -3 degrees outside and dark) and what the girls working for me would find out later, some very tight game to spit with the ladies. This crew proceeded to shed their outerwear to make sure everyone took notice that they were maybe on their second cycle of steroids as well as the tribal like artwork which stretched across their arms which looked like it had been done by their a friend who most likely approached them with a deal like, "hey guys so i think i am going to be a tattoo artist now instead of a plumber can I do my first tattoo on you, it'll be totally free."
For the next hour and a half my store was the epicenter of testosterone and loud remembrances of how cool these three guys used to be in high school. Ill give you insight into the first conversation which i overheard one of them having with a female employee of mine.
Dude 1: Sooooooo i heard your manager say something about getting a bunch of new clothes on the guy side soon is that true?...
Employee one: ummmm yeah i think so....(and back to folding and face turning a lil red, ok a lotta red)
Dude 1: sooo I used to be a trainer at golds gym and i was ready to move away but I totally got this sweet job offer ill be making like 85 k right off the bat.(yes and he said it exactly that way, eighty-five k... seriously)
Employee 1: well that sounds like a pretty good deal(still folding, still very red now)
Dude 1: soooo i think i know you (to his credit she had already told me she knew him) i think you used to date my roommate. Are you guys still dating?
Employee one: No that was like 4 years ago.(shes 20 by the way)
Dude 1: oh yeah thats cool, soo didja join sorority?
Employee: Yeah Alpha Phi
dude 1: oh a-phi, a-phi thats cool.
At this point i had to leave because first of all i didnt want him to stop embarassing her cause i thought it was hilarious but also because I was afraid i would point and laugh at him which is frowned upon in the retail business. So obviously it didnt stop there but when I came from my office i began to see these three guy strut around my store for the next hour like farmer petes prized piglets. Talking fashion and making sure that everyone knew they were probably the coolest thing in the mall that day.
The rest of the day was full of gift cards and folding but at least i had something to laugh about.
For the next hour and a half my store was the epicenter of testosterone and loud remembrances of how cool these three guys used to be in high school. Ill give you insight into the first conversation which i overheard one of them having with a female employee of mine.
Dude 1: Sooooooo i heard your manager say something about getting a bunch of new clothes on the guy side soon is that true?...
Employee one: ummmm yeah i think so....(and back to folding and face turning a lil red, ok a lotta red)
Dude 1: sooo I used to be a trainer at golds gym and i was ready to move away but I totally got this sweet job offer ill be making like 85 k right off the bat.(yes and he said it exactly that way, eighty-five k... seriously)
Employee 1: well that sounds like a pretty good deal(still folding, still very red now)
Dude 1: soooo i think i know you (to his credit she had already told me she knew him) i think you used to date my roommate. Are you guys still dating?
Employee one: No that was like 4 years ago.(shes 20 by the way)
Dude 1: oh yeah thats cool, soo didja join sorority?
Employee: Yeah Alpha Phi
dude 1: oh a-phi, a-phi thats cool.
At this point i had to leave because first of all i didnt want him to stop embarassing her cause i thought it was hilarious but also because I was afraid i would point and laugh at him which is frowned upon in the retail business. So obviously it didnt stop there but when I came from my office i began to see these three guy strut around my store for the next hour like farmer petes prized piglets. Talking fashion and making sure that everyone knew they were probably the coolest thing in the mall that day.
The rest of the day was full of gift cards and folding but at least i had something to laugh about.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Some of my favorite things
Sooo here are a few of my top 5 favorite list to give you some insight into who I am:
Top five favorite things to watch of the moment:
1. Dexter
2. The Office
3. It's always sunny in Philadelphia
4. NBA GAMES
5. The Dallas Cowboys!
Favorite reality shows:
1. Big Brother (I am currently trying to get on this one)
2. Amazing race (me and my brother would dominate this one so they wont let us on)
3. Survivor (someone will die on this show eventually, keeps me watching)
4. Real world (to old for this one :(...)
5. Intervention (this show is a beast!!!!)
Top 5 movies
1. Fight club (seen 234 times beat that!)
2. Donnie Darko
3. Snatch
4. Lock stock and two smoking barrels
5. Rounders
Top 5 things to do in a day:
1. Basketball
2. Movies
3. Drink beverages
4. Music
5. Snowboard
Alright that's enough of that nonsense, So my name is jakob, I struggle with ADHD at an obnoxious level as well as insomnia. This provides me the luxury of being awake for days at a time unfortunately when one is 26 there are not to many people to hang out with at 3 in the morning... on a Tuesday. Because of this about every 4 to 5 days I sleep for about 15 to 18 hours on my crash days as I like to call them. I have worked in retail for quite some time now for a few different companies which I wont name, just in case. I've had a few very rocky relationships which include far to much drama (thanks to each of you fine upstanding ladies). which maybe ill delve into at a later point as events unfold. I havent decided which way this blog should go if it should solely be about my antics in the work place or if they should recount the amazing adventures of jakob the professional retail manager in life and work. If anyone who reads this has feeling either way leave a comment and ill take that into account when writing this.
Top five favorite things to watch of the moment:
1. Dexter
2. The Office
3. It's always sunny in Philadelphia
4. NBA GAMES
5. The Dallas Cowboys!
Favorite reality shows:
1. Big Brother (I am currently trying to get on this one)
2. Amazing race (me and my brother would dominate this one so they wont let us on)
3. Survivor (someone will die on this show eventually, keeps me watching)
4. Real world (to old for this one :(...)
5. Intervention (this show is a beast!!!!)
Top 5 movies
1. Fight club (seen 234 times beat that!)
2. Donnie Darko
3. Snatch
4. Lock stock and two smoking barrels
5. Rounders
Top 5 things to do in a day:
1. Basketball
2. Movies
3. Drink beverages
4. Music
5. Snowboard
Alright that's enough of that nonsense, So my name is jakob, I struggle with ADHD at an obnoxious level as well as insomnia. This provides me the luxury of being awake for days at a time unfortunately when one is 26 there are not to many people to hang out with at 3 in the morning... on a Tuesday. Because of this about every 4 to 5 days I sleep for about 15 to 18 hours on my crash days as I like to call them. I have worked in retail for quite some time now for a few different companies which I wont name, just in case. I've had a few very rocky relationships which include far to much drama (thanks to each of you fine upstanding ladies). which maybe ill delve into at a later point as events unfold. I havent decided which way this blog should go if it should solely be about my antics in the work place or if they should recount the amazing adventures of jakob the professional retail manager in life and work. If anyone who reads this has feeling either way leave a comment and ill take that into account when writing this.
DEC 16th
Well I thought I would start today's post by giving you an insight into the topics which arose in my mind today.
-Cake batter flavored coffee. (Could make millions from that most likely)
-My on again off again relationship with my faux-hawk.
-Why do people flex in mirrors in public?(or in private for that matter)
-What makes people think the Toothpick is a socially acceptable tool.
-What is the correlation between my level of tan and my ability to sell.
-How could I become a millionaire from blogging?
-Why when I wear a blazer to work does it make me feel like I have a real job.
-If my cat Furio could talk, what would be the first thing she would tell me to do?
Today was another eventful day at the store full of unhappy employees and snow-frustrated customers. With so much snow on the ground I wondered what kind of shopper I would meet today. Unfortunately I came to find that the people the trek through this amount of snow are not in the best of moods. I was awarded a very special gesture today as a snow frustrated driver past up a parking spot I was standing in for one of my employees so they could jump my car (the battery seems to not want to work when you leave the lights on all day). The gesture consisted of rolling the window down sticking her head out the window and giving me a sturdy and robust head nod (no) while mouthing the word no just in case I could only communicate through lip reading.
Along with the window down head nod I witnessed a few other rude and rare gesture which I know any retail worker will sympathize with:
-The stare ahead ignore greeting customer
-The hands up i'm just looking yell customer
But none of these events could hold a flame to the mother of all rude customers, the,"your card has been declined" customer. This customer no matter what you say refuses to come to the understanding that they have over-drafted their account and has no money. This customer defies all common logic, whether from you or any bank on earth, anyone who could possibly even suggest that they have no money in their account, is the dumbest person in existence. Today's occurrence was a special breed though, this customer decided that it was in her realm of rights to call the bank from the line. This phone call as it always does escalated into a screaming match between her and an obviously (to her) less than qualified personal banker who proceeded to have everything from their sexual orientation to their elementary school education questioned. Amidst the yelling, onlooking customer were treated to a plethora of creatively used curse words as well as a few words used in ways one may not find proper. Needless to say this event ended as it always does the bank being right and the customer being wrong.
LIFE LESSON OF THE DAY: Don't spend money you don't have.
(Unless you have overdraft protection)
-Cake batter flavored coffee. (Could make millions from that most likely)
-My on again off again relationship with my faux-hawk.
-Why do people flex in mirrors in public?(or in private for that matter)
-What makes people think the Toothpick is a socially acceptable tool.
-What is the correlation between my level of tan and my ability to sell.
-How could I become a millionaire from blogging?
-Why when I wear a blazer to work does it make me feel like I have a real job.
-If my cat Furio could talk, what would be the first thing she would tell me to do?
Today was another eventful day at the store full of unhappy employees and snow-frustrated customers. With so much snow on the ground I wondered what kind of shopper I would meet today. Unfortunately I came to find that the people the trek through this amount of snow are not in the best of moods. I was awarded a very special gesture today as a snow frustrated driver past up a parking spot I was standing in for one of my employees so they could jump my car (the battery seems to not want to work when you leave the lights on all day). The gesture consisted of rolling the window down sticking her head out the window and giving me a sturdy and robust head nod (no) while mouthing the word no just in case I could only communicate through lip reading.
Along with the window down head nod I witnessed a few other rude and rare gesture which I know any retail worker will sympathize with:
-The stare ahead ignore greeting customer
-The hands up i'm just looking yell customer
But none of these events could hold a flame to the mother of all rude customers, the,"your card has been declined" customer. This customer no matter what you say refuses to come to the understanding that they have over-drafted their account and has no money. This customer defies all common logic, whether from you or any bank on earth, anyone who could possibly even suggest that they have no money in their account, is the dumbest person in existence. Today's occurrence was a special breed though, this customer decided that it was in her realm of rights to call the bank from the line. This phone call as it always does escalated into a screaming match between her and an obviously (to her) less than qualified personal banker who proceeded to have everything from their sexual orientation to their elementary school education questioned. Amidst the yelling, onlooking customer were treated to a plethora of creatively used curse words as well as a few words used in ways one may not find proper. Needless to say this event ended as it always does the bank being right and the customer being wrong.
LIFE LESSON OF THE DAY: Don't spend money you don't have.
(Unless you have overdraft protection)
Monday, December 15, 2008
Dec 15th 2008
12:00am.... begin working out.
2:30am.... finished workout still cant believe its 6 degrees outside... seriously...
3:00am... facebook... so sad I know.
4:00am... read a friends blog and decided to start my own its about time I think.
Now onto some late night rob and big such is a life of an insomniac.
Quote of today:
Any chick with a sword and blades is a dime piece!
2:30am.... finished workout still cant believe its 6 degrees outside... seriously...
3:00am... facebook... so sad I know.
4:00am... read a friends blog and decided to start my own its about time I think.
Now onto some late night rob and big such is a life of an insomniac.
Quote of today:
Any chick with a sword and blades is a dime piece!
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